Today’s world is filled with pressures, both in the home and at work; pressures to conform, work harder, be better… so what to do?
A certain amount of stress is healthy, as it keeps us awake and on our toes, but individuals vary as to how much they can handle. What for one person is an exciting challenge may be a nightmare for someone else. Our individual capacity may also depend on what is going on in the background; if part of our life is calm, then we are better able to cope with a storm elsewhere. If there are storms all around it will be like living in a tempest! We each have only so much capacity, so if, for instance, an individual has a stressful home life, or develops a chronic illness, a normally insignificant incident may just turn out to be the ‘last straw on a camel’s back’, and result in a crisis.
Health24 defines stress as follows: “Stress is the physiological, psychological, emotional and behavioural response of a person seeking to adapt and adjust to internal and external pressures or demands. It is basically a physical survival response leading to a ‘flight-or-fight’ reaction. All living organisms – from plants, to animals, to humans – have a stress response. That’s why certain species have survived to this day.” This means that the body has not only a psychological reaction to stress, but a physical one, and this can have lasting effects on our health.
Stress affects anyone, from the tiniest newborn to the elderly. It can also affect animals, for example your dog may become very stressed when there is a thunder storm, or simply when left alone for too long. Stress is usually thought of as being psychological, but it also includes physical stresses such as a car accident, an attack of flu, a heart attack or an operation.
Sadly, in today’s society the pressures have become so great that many people suffer the effects of excess stress. In days of old the ‘fight or flight reaction’ of fast heart beat, dry mouth etc was needed for survival, but the urban jungle no longer contains sabre toothed tigers; just bosses, deadlines, teenagers etc. Long term, or chronic, stress, which in other words is not so immediate and continues for some time, may include worry about finances, job pressure, a bad relationship in the family, an unhappy marriage, or physical stress such as chronic pain, recurrent headaches, and poor sleep.
In acute, or sudden stress, there is an immediate reaction, no matter whether it is a psychological or physical shock. Think how you feel when someone appears unexpectedly, when you have a near miss in the car [or perhaps not a miss but a smash!], or when you cut yourself badly or burn yourself on the oven. In every scene you are acutely aware of what is happening, your heart pounds, you may gasp in air, your palms may sweat and you may shake. In severe cases people may even vomit and wet themselves, or have an involuntary bowel movement.
In an acute reaction it is easy to see that the body is preparing to ‘fight or flee’; the raised heart rate, raised breathing, emptying of bowel and bladder, are all preparation for rapid physical activity. In this situation the body first puts out adrenaline, then cortisol. The effects of these can be measured both directly, and by looking at their effects on, for example, blood sugar. When the stress is chronic, these reactions continue and the adrenal glands may become exhausted, while cortisol levels remain high, leading to abdominal obesity, hypertension [blood pressure], and raised blood sugar or even diabetes.
To survive today we need to have a strong coping strategy: this means identifying present and potential stresses and acting before they become overwhelming. It is wise to take stock of your daily routine, and differentiate the ‘musts’ from the ‘shoulds’. If need be, write a list of your obligations and see what you can either delegate or reduce. It is also useful to write down your major worries; alongside write the ideal solution, then how to take steps towards it. If it is insoluble then put it away; however if there is an answer, no matter how difficult it may seem, formulate a step wise plan to address it. It may be as simple as phoning a friend instead of wondering why she hasn’t phoned you, or as difficult as getting a teenager to accept some counseling. If there is a major problem in your life, try to break it into small pieces and then set about tackling it piece by piece; for instance with a major debt: first talk to the bank or a debt counsellor, then remove any temptation to spend more, then draw up a practical budget that includes repayments.
Remember the prayer asking for “wisdom to change the things you can, wisdom to leave alone the things you can’t change, and wisdom to know the difference!” Once you have the first step to a solution, then act on it! It is easy to be overwhelmed by not knowing where to begin, and writing it down can help a solution take shape.
A useful approach is via the 3 A’s: Acknowledge, Assess, Act.
Acknowledge: The first step in stress management is to recognise that you are stressed. Are you waking in the morning still tired, eating on the go, never feeling that you have achieved anything? NO, it is not normal to be constantly tense and irritable, always wishing there were 25 hours in a day. Perhaps you are smoking or drinking too much, comfort eating or alternatively skipping meals, withdrawing from your normal social life, preferring to sit at the PC or TV, sleeping too much or too little, being angry and lashing out at loved ones. These are all symptoms of excessive stress, and should be addressed.
Assess: Are you a ‘glass ½ full’ person or a ‘glass ½ empty’ one? Try to see what you regard as a problem in perspective. Is it going to change the weather? Will it matter in 12 months time? At the same time try to regard difficulties as challenges and see what good you can turn each one to. Learn from your mistakes. Try to consider something positive every day, even if it is as simple as the sunshine or a birdsong! Make time to relax and do something enjoyable every day; this is not luxury time, it is essential ‘you time’, and it should be an important part of your daily schedule. For instance having to sit in a Dr’s waiting room for hours due to a health problem could be an opportunity to catch up on some reading.
Act: Take stock of your life and try to identify the unnecessary stressors. Take a look at your average day; can you delegate some household chores or duties, or perhaps do things more efficiently such as only shopping once a week instead of having to go every day? Differentiate the ‘musts’ from the ‘shoulds’, and learn to say no; don’t feel guilty for refusing someone’s request that you feel is beyond you, learn to be considerate to yourself!
In the following article I will consider some more management options, both Medical and self help.